Anxiety, what is anxiety. There are many different things in life that cause you to feel anxious and most people can shrug the feeling off and get on with there day. But in my case its something that takes over my life, and i find it difficult to shake off.
My anxiety started when my eldest daughter was around nine months. Being a new mom can be very scary at times, and i started to worry about what would happen to her if something happened to me.
I started to look for health problems within myself and every spot, lump or bump that i found would send me into a fit of panic. Thats when my panic attacks started.
A panic attack is the most terrifying and horrible experience i have ever had. It makes you feel like your going to die, my chest would get tight and i would find it difficult to breathe. I would have butterflies in my stomach and my body would feel like its on fire, i then would have an overwhelming erge to just run away.
When they started i would get them upto 10 times a day, which was very hard to cope with, not just for me but for my family.
I would visit the doctor at least once a week with a different illness that i convinced myself i had. After a month of these attacks i decided enough was enough and would seek help.
I filled out a mental health questionaire at the doctors which determined i did infact need help. The doctor prescribed me an antidepressant in the hope that it would help.
The first two weeks on the tablets was horrendous, my anxiety went through the roof and i also had tummy upset, And because of my state of mind i thought i had some sort of illness which scared the life out of me. Of course i didnt and the doctor explained that i needed to stick with it and i will be fine.
She was right after a month i started to feel more like myself and less scared of everything.
The next problem i had was i had to stop myself from consulting Doctor Google. i would look on Google everytime something didnt feel right with my body, and the results i would get would set off yet another panic attack.
I finally got over my worrys when my daughter was 18 months old, then i became pregnant and was advised not to take my pills as they may have an effect on the baby.
When i hit the 3rd trimester my anxiety flared up again and the awful panic attacks came back. The hospital consultant advised me to start my tablets again which helped straight away.
I was back to normal again. The sad thing is i am now dependant on my anti depressants and im not sure i will ever be able to come off them.
I tried cognative behavioural therapy in the hope that it would help but it was sadly not for me.
Health anxiety effects alot of people and there isnt much help offered to the people it effects, im hoping one day i will feel confident enough to stop the medication but for now its the only thing that keeps me normal.